We are the only species to contemplate suicide, Celine solutions in quick easy installments. Please pay account balance within thirty days of invoice. We may be the first species to go extinct by suicide. We may be the first species to go extinct because we just didn’t really feel like reproducing. We’re just going through the motions. So far as we know, no other animal has ever committed suicide, though interviews with whales continue. It’s against the laws of nature. We flatter ourselves as the scientific animals, discovering the secrets embedded in nature and inventing ever new ways to get even deeper in bed with her. We flatter ourselves as the rational animals, courting favors and suing for marriage, then back-filling logic retroactively to compensate for our lack of foresight. We flatter ourselves as religious, the divinity animals, the infinity animals, in the process of ascent to our rightful place at God’s right hand. We flatter ourselves. We’re all that and more. We’re the ego animals, competing for glory and the love of the flag. We’re the murdering animals, killing for its own sake, and loving every minute of it. We’re the suicide animals, an experiment gone wrong, a bill overdue. The clock is ticking and the fuse is lit. We don’t need to be concerned about Apocalypse; we need to be concerned about species extinction.