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  • hardie karges 7:05 pm on June 23, 2019 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , friendship, , opportunity   

    Fear of the Known and the Dread of Certainty 

    I feel invisible connections to all who crossed my path, however briefly, but especially those who walked beside me for a while. For this is truly a spiritual occurrence, sacred friendship, metta, in what is predominantly a material world, of mechanical waves, percussion and repercussions, the logic of logistics, and the calculus of convenience. And this is only normal, of course, that our vision is limited to frequencies of the most ordinary sort, bland and tasteless, for fear of over-excitation, that we may start something that we can’t finish, like violence or struggle or depression or love. But none of this has to be so hard, after all, it seems. It is only our fear that makes it seems so, fear of the unknown, fear of success. Because the known is what is truly scary, that we may be stuck in some prison of our own making, and forced to repeat our actions day after day in some pattern that knows no end. The unknown offers relief from the grind of that despicable certainty. There are no problems, and no fear, only opportunities, massive opportunities…

    • tiramit 12:41 am on June 26, 2019 Permalink | Reply

      my naer

    • Dave Kingsbury 2:12 pm on July 2, 2019 Permalink | Reply

      Because the known is what is truly scary … true, indeed! No need to invent phantoms when we have reality! But I’ll take the positives you bring to this – creative approaches are always the best!

  • hardie karges 6:38 am on December 16, 2018 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: , , , , friendship, , , Khmer, , , , , , ,   

    Buddhism 101: Metta means Friendship, Karuna means Compassion… 

    IMG_2290You’ve got something pretty special when you put friendship and compassion together, and something pretty simple. Even people who profess to believe in nothing, and categorically reject use of that word ‘belief’ can surely believe in friendship and compassion. And friendship, universal friendship, is a very important concept, easy to forget in our day and time that at some time in the not-so-distant past anyone who was not part of the family was suspect and an object of great fear and suspicion…

    One of my favorite stories, recounted many times, is by Jared Diamond of ‘Guns, Germs and Steel’ fame who related that while doing anthropological fieldwork in Papua New Guinea, when two strangers would meet each other, they’d count back to see if they had a mutual relative, so that they wouldn’t have to kill each other, or die trying… (More …)

    • Dave Kingsbury 4:28 pm on December 21, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Informative survey with a convincing historical explanation for fellow-feeling, if that phrase fits. It all builds nicely to your final thoughts where you suggest how experience of different cultures can develop the facility. It’s an important corrective to the divisions – silos, bunkers, echo chambers, whatever – of the modern era.

    • hardie karges 4:45 pm on December 21, 2018 Permalink | Reply

      Thanks, Dave! Merry Christmas from Cambodia…

  • hardie karges 5:17 am on October 17, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: friendship,   

    The wages of sin is cash, cold and hard, 

    no longer disposable, already spent, no longer red, no longer hot. If you get caught with your dick out in public, then you gotta’ pay. If you stick it in my face, you get a second chance, if you’re a friend. The privilege of Christianity is to confess your sins and be born again. Don’t try this in Baghdad. The more you demand of friendship, the fewer friends you’ll have. The only thing I ask of my friends is keep your dick out of my face. I know it’s down there. I don’t need to see what it looks like. I don’t need to compare length. Don’t diminish me to exalt yourself. ‘Humble but not humiliated’ is not a bad approach to life. Humility is certainly a virtue, but you choose that for yourself as a gentle, yet effective, unpretentious approach to life. You don’t want it forced down your throat. People will stick their dicks in your face if you let them. That used to be called ‘eating humble pie’ I think. It tastes like rotten mushrooms. Do what you’ve got to do behind closed doors, do it for evolution, but don’t do it in my face. Say what you want about me behind my back, but don’t stick it in my face. Women will do the same, borrowing a virtual dick from the anals of history and legend to shadowbox the demons that haunt them. Why can’t they just stick their pussies in my face? I can usually take it from there. Anything is better than the all-too-frequent male ego stand-offs that pass for friendships, especially among many of the losers who wash up on the beach here in Thailand. Successful people don’t have to resort to such juvenile antics. It’s like Mississippi rednecks, with the Industrial Revolution leaving them behind, blaming all their problems on ‘niggers’, when they themselves can barely write a complete sentence. Most of their sentences occur in the state penitentiary at Parchman Farm. I’m from Mississippi, so I have a license to say things like this, my poetic license. You can download a copy from my web-site. Watch out for black widows.

  • hardie karges 7:48 am on September 22, 2008 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: friendship, ,   

    The first stage in domestication of animals 

    was probably corralling for subsequent butchery. If the animals show themselves to be manageable, then you consider other possibilities, like sex. Then you consider still other possibilities, like a long-term relationship. Jorge used to refer to sex as “killing the cow”. Jorge never had very many good relationships, or none that I knew about at least. He and I fell out over some perceived slight or oversight. He was right, but didn’t like apologies, not even mine, much less his, so what could I do? Somebody called out my name as I was walking down the street in Guatemala City and there he was, just like old times in Berkeley. You’d think that was a sign, or something. Things like that don’t happen often. We spent a pleasant day around Guat City, but he never came back, as agreed. It still hurts. I hope he’s OK. He was driving VW vans from California to Guatemala after having driven eighteen-wheel trucks for a living in the US. Strange career move, but who knows? The secret to having many good friends is not getting too close to any of them, then things like this don’t happen. He may have had a secret crush on Lupita all that time, and couldn’t see why she was with me. Who knows what really goes on in the hearts and minds of men? I haven’t been to Guatemala since 1995, so that was then or before.

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