Bathroom Gender Wars: Wisdom of Sulaiman Needed Urgently…

Am I the only one for whom the current pee-pee and poo-poo gender identity controversy between Amerikan LGBTQA’s and the rest of the un-alphabetized world seems silly and trivial? I mean: does it really matter where we drop our loads and relieve our burdens? Apparently it does. Okay, so I’ve got an idea for a solution—actually two solutions, one for Amerika and one for the rest of the civilized world.

From now on, for most of the civilized world, there will be no more men’s and women’s restrooms. Everybody will pee and poop in a common room, divided by stalls, urinals optional though perhaps discouraged, stalls perhaps extended down closer to the floor to discourage any surreptitious ‘youfies’, with optional chicken-wire over the top (joking). Sound good? No? That’s because you’re Amerikan.

In Amerika everybody will get their own private crapper, public restrooms like chock-a-block tenement rookeries, with locking doors, ultimate privacy, no peek-a-boo freebie holes-in-the-wall and definitely no empty space beneath. Think: handicapped. Yes, we are all handicapped now, aren’t we, reduced in capabilities, divided from ourselves as well as others, by walls and bridges and the need to pee? Welkom in Amerika!