Bernie Sanders’ Three-Part Campaign Platform…
…was released today by Thor Wyndham, Sander’s campaign manager and currently a graduate student in Political Science at Columbia University in New York City. According to Wyndham, the core principles of Sander’s political philosophy inform the platform and are as follows:
1) Break up the banks (30-day notice required or withdrawal penalties apply)
2) Free college tuition (with any 4.0 GPA–bill us)
3) Hillary sucks (dude!)
For a complete description of the platform, interested parties should send e-mails to:
(-: The previous post is satire and for purposes of entertainment only. Hopefully you’ll see the humor. If symptoms last for more than four hours, please contact your physician 🙂
streaming consciousness... 
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