Internal Dialog, Political Dialectic

Conversation overheard between the Left and Right sides of my brain:
LS: They say that to sell non-fiction, you need a platform. Do we have a platform?
RS: I think that’s a metaphor, actually.
LS: Actually, I think it’s a two-by-four, lots of them in fact, and double-headed nails, the better to set up and tear down easily.
RS: Hmmm, sounds like a flea market,
LS: Now there’s a metaphor, life as flea market.
RS: Yes, all too true; at least the food trucks are good… are you hungry?
LS: Yeah, let’s eat. Did you get salsa?
RS: I thought you did.
LS: Typical. When are you going to grow up?
RS: When are you going to chill out?
LS: Slut.
RS: Bitch.
LS: Rock.
RS: Paper.
LS: Scissors.