Buddhism on the Installment Plan (with Quick Easy Payments)

If Science conquers Death, then Buddhism may be out of work, but I doubt it. Because, for all the rap about Buddhism being pessimistic, the truth is that it’s not; it’s realistic. Now, that may contrast sharply with the goo-goo eyed optimism of Sunday School Christianity (any denomination) and their doctrines of eternal life and passionate love, but it’s only being realistic—and rational. You’re going to die. Get over it. For an adult, that’s the starting point of any life equation. You’ve got x amount of years to produce y amount of children and z amount of money, so you better get started, because time’s wasting.

Or not. Buddhism always allows for negation in any of its tetralemma style catuhskoti logic, so, if that’s negative, by definition, then so be it. Negation is often the only certainty, just as Emptiness is often the only Eternity. And that is why Buddhism is so often defined by its meditation, which is essentially doing nothing—creatively, watching thoughts come and go while breath counts the time and plays rhythm. But it’s only a partial renunciation, unlike the Jains’ total immersion, from which they seldom emerge. That’s the Middle Path, neither total leisure nor lack, buffet nor snack.

Buddhism is so ‘right’ simply because it’s so simple. Avoid extremes and be nice; seek friends. Because that’s the heart of Buddhist ‘love’, metta, friendship. Ex-Christians try to soup it up by invoking ‘lovingkindness’, with Mary and babe at the breast, but really, it’s just friendship, non-possessive and cool, not hot, male or female, jewelry or not. Feel free to try it at home. It’s non-toxic. Or form a group. Some call it sangha. Others call it family. And don’t forget to wash your karma.